theme by starlland
If I Die Young.
“Gather up your tears, keep ‘em in your pocket. Save them for a time when you’re really gonna need ‘em. The sharp knife of a short life, I’ve had just enough time.”
Ship possibilities: Boy/girl.
Genre: Romance, friendship, mature themes; suicide, abuse.
Based: If I Die Young by The Band Perry.
Suggested FCs: Open to anyone for this plot.
Roles: Open male.
Setting: Charlottestown, Virginia.
Age of characters: 18.
Open.Plot under the cut due to the long length.
Dearest journal,
You know what the scariest stage of suicide is? The stage where you’re completely calm. You feel at peace; you feel happy. Weird right? It sounds weird because if you’re in the process of committing, you would be far from happy. You’d be depressed, you’d be upset, you’d be sad—which is why you’re even considering suicide. But the thing is, this stage means you’re ready. You’re happy and at ease because you know that soon the suffering will stop. Your unhappiness will vanish, however way you choose to leave the world. You’ll be able to drop everything and leave this cruel harsh place, that you once called home. The scary part about this stage is that once you’ve hit this stage, there’s no turning back. You’re done. You’ve accepted the fact that you’re leaving soon. You’re happy about it.
Whatever led up to this, doesn’t matter anymore. Everything’s done. You’ve gone numb, but you’re happy because you’re going to be gone soon. You won’t be missed, you know you won’t; at least I know I won’t. Well, I’ve reached this stage. I can tell you that I’m both happy, yet scared. I now know what I’m capable of. I know that one of these days, I’ll just vanish out of these people’s lives. I’ll disappear, float up to the clouds and watch over everyone. Watch as their lives continue on normally without me. Me being gone won’t make a difference. The earth will continue to rotate, the sun and stars will go by it’s daily cycle; nothing will change. I have no siblings, so I have no one to take care of. My parents are hardly home. If they are home, they’re both drunk and abusive. What’s there for me to live for, right?
I do hope that they have the decency to have a ceremony for me. I can’t help but wonder who would actually show up to it. Who would cry, who would feel bad for neglecting me, who would mourn, who wouldn’t come at all. Curiosity killed the cat, right? Ha. Funny how my curiosity is killing me; literally. Well, I have two weeks. Two more weeks to watch the sunsets, watch the sunrises, cherish my life. Maybe I’ll be ambitious. Maybe I’ll go do things I’ve never done before, maybe I’ll just sit back and wait for the day to come. Either way, the day’s been marked. A huge circle on my calendar, and I can’t help but anticipate it.
- Liliana.
Imagine walking down the street, minding your own business. Then something catches your eye. A piece of paper floating around. Being the curious person you are, you reach down and open it up. You see that it’s a journal entry, probably fell out of an innocent person’s journal. You know it’s wrong, but you read over it. You fall into shock. You realize that this person is about ready to commit suicide. Would you sit back and count the days, watching to see if anyone randomly misses a few days of school, or would you try and do something to stop this person from taking their own life?
[♂] has never been close to Liliana. He’s in the popular crowd, superstar jock, good looks, charming, and has got the perfect girlfriend. Liliana has always been that quiet girl that walks the halls, head in her book, trying to stay out of everybody’s way. Although [♂] has always contemplated talking to her, he never got the chance. With all of the “in crowd” tugging and pulling at his every side, he was never able to actually stop and talk to her. He always found Liliana to be beautiful, perhaps that’s the reason why he always wanted to talk to her. Beautiful, but quiet. If she had decided to join the cheerleading team, or somehow climb the popularity pyramid, [♂] was sure that she would knock his girlfriend right out of her top spot at this school. Looks don’t take you everywhere, but they sure do give you a starting step. They had exchanged a few discreet glances in the hallways, but Liliana always seemed to lower her eyes, shifting away almost instantly. As if she didn’t want to connect with anyone.
Now [♂] understood why she never wanted to make friends. She probably had been contemplating suicide for such a long time. So long that she had decided to stray away from everyone, not make any friends, not build bonds that would be shattered once she was gone. Smart girl. Considerate as well. Most people would just hand this note into the school, but [♂] thought about it. If he were to give this note in, her life would be worse than it already is. The school would shove her towards a therapist who wouldn’t help, people would start whispering things about her, and she’d never be able to live it down. So he’s decided to take matters into his own hand. He’s ready to step into her life, and change it. Make her see the beauty in life, and make her see that she does have an importance in this world.
